for all future errordactyl pleasure, please visit:

http://www.errordactyl.com

robot sex http://www.errordactyl.com

Some of you may have heard of this robot in Japan who fell in love with one of his intern/trainer people, barricaded her in his room, and refused to stop hugging her repeatedly until his eventual deactivation by two senior staff members.  But to be perfectly fair here, did you see the way she was dressed?  SHE WAS TOTALLY ASKING FOR IT!!!

Police have released a composite sketch of the mechanical molester shown here:

kenji http://www.errordactyl.com

Anyway, you can read the original article at:

http://www.muckflash.com/?p=200

Frankly, if you look at the buzz around the internet on this one, everyone seems so preoccupied with the robot itself that they haven’t stopped to call into question the creator…

DR. TAKAHASHI- THIS IS AN INTERVENTION!!!!!!  For starters, if you’re gonna make a robot that’s designed to hug, don’t give it 220 lb. hydraulic arms, that should be a no brainer.  I mean, really?  None of your Japanese cookie-cutter brainiacs thought that was a bad idea?  Second off:

“ the effects of several months of self-iteration within the complex machine-learning code “

SOMEONE watched The Matrix one too many times before designing his robot.  And after all that you’re gonna name him Kenji? KENJI?  You know that’s the same name as the first person to be killed by a robot in Japan right?  No bullshit!  Nice move Dr. Takahashi, way to jinx the shit out of that one.

Now, if you’re gonna be a closet robophiliac that’s cool, I mean I can definitely think up more destructive fetishes than that… BUT you have to EITHER build a love robot OR admit it to the whole world.  You can’t have it both ways, because when you fuck up the love robot and then try to bounce back by saying “I have full faith that we will one day live side by side with, and eventually love and be loved by, robots” you don’t sound optimistic, you just sound creepy.  And who the fuck is “we” anyway?  I’m not falling in love with any robot that isn’t equipped with:

1) the ability to eat paper and shit money

2) an archive of all 285 cooking Ebooks available on e-library.net

3) a RAID 0 hard disk array that’s striped but not mirrored (high performance, but if we get into a fight it’ll only take one solid blow)

4) a mute button (once again, dog and cat sounds? I want what YOU’RE smoking)

5) a bangin body like this

heidi klum http://www.errordactyl.com

Sorry Doc, you may have created a robot that loves, but you didn’t create fake boobs that feel real, so what’s the point?

babylon a.d.

I watched “Babylon A.D.” last night, and though it was not a particularly fantastic movie, it definitely had it’s moments.  So here they are (in order of lamest to coolest):

10) an abundance of shitty accents ALL THE TIME

9) a corny snowmobile backflip/missile dodge/robot-fighterplane destroying pistol shot

8) Vin Diesel’s vicious, over-the-top head scars

7) implications of a nuclear weapon usage with absolutely no global side effects

6) crazy parkour guys (spices up any movie)

5) it makes reference to Uzbekistan, I have a soft spot for that place ever since I lived there as a child

4) awesome motorcyclists with sweet future bikes and skull facemasks

3) Toorop (Vin Diesel) won’t stop calling this dude a “baby-killer” in the beginning of the movie

2) Aurora (Mélanie Thierry) gets progressively hotter and hotter over the course of the film.  It’s actually kind of odd.

Mélanie Thierry

1) Vin Diesel has a hand tattoo, prominently displayed through the whole movie, that says “elephant” in Russian (слон).  What the hell is that all about?

vin diesel http://www.errordactyl.com

слон http://www.errordactyl.com

errrorette http://www.errordactyl.com

Well that wasn’t so hard, was it?  That’s retorical (fucking stupid ass text based communication).  At any rate, I’m glad that at least SOME of my readers out there don’t take themselves too seriously.  And bonus points for the purple sharpie too, that rules.

So here’s to all of you who don’t have a stick up your ass.  Keep it cumming coming!

invaders must die http://www.errordactyl.com

I scored a copy of the new Prodigy album the other day, and it ROCKS!!!!  I must say that, despite my die-hard love for The Prodigy, I was a little worried that they had already reached their apex.  Nothing could have been further from the truth.  ”Invaders Must Die” continues to really push the limits of Liam Howlett’s ingenuity, and draw from a diverse musical background of both electronic and acoustic musical genres (hell, Dave Grohl even plays drums on one track).  The Prodigy managed to stay true to their old school electronica roots, and signature sound, while moving further into the rock-electronica fusion genre that they did so much to create.  It is worth mentioning as well that the two remixes on the “Omen” single release are FIRE as well.  Though that is to be expected from Noisia and Chase and Status.  The album is scheduled for release in the States on March 3rd, GO BUY IT!!!!!

rainbow http://www.errordactyl.com

I’m not the biggest fan of humans, I’m just going to be up front about that one.  I know, I know, I’m a human and I have human friends that I like, but i think that’s kind of on par with when you accuse someone of being racist, and they respond with “I have plenty of black friends”.  They’re still racist, and I still hate humans.  I mean, what the hell do we do?  We’re pointless!!! We’re not even a link in the food chain!  We’re just the ball at the end of it, dragging everything else down with us.  Fuck humans.  The only cool thing we have ever done is music (and pyramids).  Music is awesome, but at the same time, it really isn’t anything at all.  It’s just a concept, existing solely in the minds of other humans.  Even when music is played, it takes an other human to interpret it as more than just sound.  A dog doesn’t know the difference between music and the humm of an electric light.  So without humans, music isn’t real, it sucks too.

smegma zone www.errordactyl.com

fucking search http://www.errordactyl.com

I can’t make this stuff up.  Seriously.  I don’t know what’s funnier, the fact that someone turned to Google for coital disrobing advice, or the fact that my site came up in the search results.  In fact, I didn’t even really believe it myself untill I doubble checked, and sure enough, number three:

fucking results http://www.errordactyl.com

the internet… ROTFL

errordactyl searches http://www.errordactyl.com

HOLD EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Is someone actually trying to cheat their way in to McDonalds?  This is too awesome.

I had to dig deeper, so went to Google, typed in “mcdonald aptitude test answers”, and hit search.  Here’s what popped up:

mcdonald test search http://www.errordactyl.com

Sure enough, there I am, number two on the results.  Number one seems to be of little relevance, but number three, oh there’s a gem.  Apparently McDonalds has hints for their own interviews, but they’re not really hints.  It’s more like an insurance plan to make sure they get people that won’t be smart enough to get a better job later.  The best ones are:

4. On the day.
Make sure you leave plenty of time for your journey – plan to arrive about 15 to 20 minutes before your interview time. Check that you have your application form, mobile, map (if you’ve never been to the restaurant before) and of course, car keys or fare money.

Hummm, what’s the word I’m looking for…. oh yea… lololololololololololololololololololololololol don’t forget your car keys??? that’s more ridiculous than internet slang.  Or how about this one, my personal favorite:

1. Refresh your memory.
Look at the copy of your application form so you can remember how you answered the questions. Take it with you to the interview.

They just assume that you lie on your resume, so at least you should keep your story strait.  Fucking ridiculous, WHAT IS THE WORLD CUMMING ON TO!!!!!!!  Look, long story short, if you have to cheat your way into a shit job at McDonalds, you should just stay there, where you can’t harm the rest of society.  So next time you buy a burger and some dumbshit kid fucks your order up, just be glad he’s not fucking up your investment banking instead (yet)…