it’s like talking to a brick WALL-E

This guy posted a link on my WALL-E article to his blog entry about the same movie.  I’m all for shameless self promotion, so I left it up there, hell, I even clicked on it!  It wasn’t bad, maybe a little bland, but he tears WALL-E apart for goofy logistical inconsistencies.  He made a list of “critiques, questions and inconsistencies concerning WALL•E”.  They were really all questions, so I answered them… all.  You can see his post at http://kentpaul65102.wordpress.com/2008/12/08/wall-e-article-discussion/, but because I doubt he will allow my comment through on his site, I have copied the whole thing here:

So on the off chance that you aren’t, in fact, being completely facetious:

You’re an idiot, it’s just a movie!  and a fucking kids movie at that!  Its primary purpose is to give kids something pretty to look at, and it’s secondary purpose is to keep the parents entertained so they will actually WANT to take their kids to see it.  If the creators had every single answer needed to explain every little aspect of this movie, they’d go into building robots and luxury spaceships instead.  There’s probably more money in that than there is in animation.  At any rate, if you still absolutely need all of these answers, here they are:

• How does WALL•E come to have a spark of sentience while others of his kind don’t?
Answer) manufacturer’s defect

• What happened to all the other WALL•Es? Why did they go off-line? If they all fell to disrepair, why didn’t WALL•E succumb to the same fate?
A) same manufacturer’s defect

• Why would we allow the Earth to become such a mess? Global warming isn’t the problem, but piles of trash. Surely we could deal with choking piles of rubbish before it got so bad it sent us into space.
A) humans never give a shit about anything until it REALLY effects them negatively, and usually by that time it’s too late.  Just look at all the endangered and extinct animals out there.  Plus, who said global warming wasn’t a problem?

• Why pile the trash into huge skyscraping piles? How will this help clean the Earth?
A) why do you clean your house/apartment/room/desk? It’s the same thing.

• Why is he alone?
A) he’s not. there are other robots plants and animals elsewhere on earth (it’s sort of a big place you know).

• How long has he been doing this garbage collection? If it’s since humans left Earth, why hasn’t he seen previous scout ships and EVE robots in the intervening 700 years?
A) he wasn’t sentient last time they came, plus they probably landed somewhere else.

• How could there be just one cockroach in the lifeless piles of trash? Where are the other cockroaches?
A) under the piles of trash, eating.

• If EVE is looking for indigenous life on Earth, why doesn’t she detect the cockroach long before the plant?
A) She’s looking for something that exhales Oxygen, a planet full of cockroaches doesn’t do us much good.

• Not only are there piles of trash on Earth, but the Earth is enveloped in a blanket of orbiting trash. How could this stay in orbit for 700 years, and how did it get there?
A) they’re satellites and shit we launched into space, and they’re traveling at 7.1 km/s (i don’t think you understand how orbits work, try typing “escape velocity” into Google sometime.)

• Why does the mother ship that drops off EVE need to go back into orbit while she looks around for evidence of life?
A) so it can drop off all those other little robot scouts around earth.  That’s a long way to travel to check a 5 mile plot of land.

• Why does EVE have to bring the plant life all the way across the galaxy to the Axiom space station? Wouldn’t that potentially kill the plant, the very life she is trying to save? Couldn’t she just record the evidence?
A) it needs to be verified, and double checked. we are talking about the future of humanity here.

• Given the scarcity of resources in space, why is there no recycling for the mounds of trash that build up from human consumption on the Axiom space station?
A) they found a way to harvest all of the loose particles they come across in space (there are a lot of them out there) so it’s not that big a deal to them.  plus maybe that stuff just wasn’t recyclable.

• If the main computer on the Axiom space station is aware of the directive to stay away from Earth (and the humans have forgotten all about getting back to their home world), why even bother sending scout ships to Earth to look for life?
A)  The scout ships are an automatic process not controlled by the main computer.  it’s the internal system of checks and balances

• Given their immature and sedentary lifestyle, how do the humans on the Axiom space station manage to even procreate?
A) test tube babies, they pretty much grow them.  Didn’t you see the school scene?

• How come all of the humans on the Axiom space station are white? Where are the other varieties of human life? On their own space stations?
A) the other races didn’t have the money to afford a one way ticket off of earth.  “The white man held them down.”

• Why are all the humans on the Axiom space station Americans?
A) it was an american space station, so the few non americans have assimilated over the past 700 years.

• Is the Axiom space station the only one? If not, where are the others?
A) no, the others are elsewhere in the universe.  The movie wasn’t long enough to cover them too.

• Why does the Axiom space station need to be so far away from Earth? It’s not like they are getting away from evil human-killing aliens.
A) no, but they may find another habitable planet.

• How come there are no human technicians on the Axiom space stations? Every machine I’ve owned needed some kind of maintenance, even the machines to fix the machines.
A) well machines have gotten a little better over the past 700 years.

• Why are all the humans on the Axiom space station so compliant? Where’s the rebel movement seeking to overthrow their confinement after 700 years?
A) because they can be, there’s generally no rebellion when you can have everything you want.

• Why would the humans on the Axiom space station choose to go back to Earth when they have it so cushy on the station?
A)That’s the whole point. they realized that sort of mindless blind happiness is not what they wanted, now that they, like walle, are “sentient” for the first time in hundreds of years.


So there you go, now you can throw your support behind WALL-E

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4 Comments

Filed under it's the little things that count

4 responses to “it’s like talking to a brick WALL-E

  1. kentpaul65102

    I wish you had read my post more comprehensively, those questions were not posed by me but by some journalist in Colorado Statesman. I found that all his questions could easily be answered but I wanted to find out what others thought about it. I appreciate your comment and welcome future discussions

  2. errordactyl

    hahaha, yea me too. Well I hope he still reads your blog.

  3. Pingback: doug young is a bitch (the WALL-E saga continues) « errordactyl

  4. RaiulBaztepo

    Hello!
    Very Interesting post! Thank you for such interesting resource!
    PS: Sorry for my bad english, I’v just started to learn this language ;)
    See you!
    Your, Raiul Baztepo

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