me: this room kind of smells like penis
  just fyi
Anthony: have you showered in the past 5 days?
 me: like kind of old penis
 Anthony: good
 me: i don’t think it’s me
 Anthony: lol
  lean over and sniff
 me: i try not to smell like penis
  most of the time
  i think it’s my coworker
he keeps this one set of clothes at work
  and comes in and changes into them every day
  then changes back out to go home
  maybe it’s the accumulating penis juice
Anthony: ew
  those words don’t go together
 me: what
 Anthony: they shouldn’t be spoken together
  “penis juice”
 me: oh
  well it’s a relatively useful word combo
  if you ask me
Anthony: i don’t support it
 me: i do
 Anthony: i’m not backing up your penis juice, if you will
 me: penisjuice, penisjuice, penisjuice
  i have summoned him
Anthony: who?
  your coworker?
 me: penisjuice
 Anthony: oh, lol
 me: where’s becca?
 Anthony: maybe looking for penisjuice
 becca: i’m here..
Anthony: hi becca
 me: are you with penisjuice
 Anthony: who do you agree with?
 me: ?
 becca: just not a lot to say on penis juice
 me: what flavor?
 Anthony: how many flavors are there?
me: 5 fun flavors
  cum, urine, smegma, sweat
  and for a limited time
 becca: this is disgusting
 me: lol
 Anthony: that’s not really what i think of when i think penis juice
  well, sweat maybe
me: well if you had to pick one
 Anthony: i don’t think of things that come out of it, like directly, but more like what it creates when given time to steep, and incubate
  that’s sweat and smegma
  and sometimes blood
 Anthony: if you’re really unfortunate
  or really disgusting
  lets talk about something else
me: what’s wrong with penisjuice
 Anthony: it’s just not the most interesting conversation topic
  i think you’d have a more interesting conversation if you talk to mr penisjuice at work about it
  i have little to contribute
me: ugh
  no one understands me
  i’m gonna go smoke a cigarette


Filed under it's the little things that count

4 responses to “penisjuice

  1. Vibeka

    It is very real.

  2. Not Alex

    Hey if you mix Penisjuice™ with Vajuice™ (stretch the “j” in Vajuice its a geminate…lol) what type of cocktail do you get???!!! do you get it(rhetorical-?) jajajajajajaja (extra Mallorca points for jajajaja…or Chiapas points). :::::)))))

    :’) (it’s Nelly)

  3. Not Alex

    how many servings of penis per bottle?? jajajajaja


  4. Buster

    I love juice!!

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