Kenji the workplace sexual harassment robot

Some of you may have heard of this robot in Japan who fell in love with one of his intern/trainer people, barricaded her in his room, and refused to stop hugging her repeatedly until his eventual deactivation by two senior staff members.  But to be perfectly fair here, did you see the way she was dressed?  SHE WAS TOTALLY ASKING FOR IT!!!

Police have released a composite sketch of the mechanical molester shown here:

Anyway, you can read the original article at:

Frankly, if you look at the buzz around the internet on this one, everyone seems so preoccupied with the robot itself that they haven’t stopped to call into question the creator…

DR. TAKAHASHI- THIS IS AN INTERVENTION!!!!!!  For starters, if you’re gonna make a robot that’s designed to hug, don’t give it 220 lb. hydraulic arms, that should be a no brainer.  I mean, really?  None of your Japanese cookie-cutter brainiacs thought that was a bad idea?  Second off:

” the effects of several months of self-iteration within the complex machine-learning code ”

SOMEONE watched The Matrix one too many times before designing his robot.  And after all that you’re gonna name him Kenji? KENJI?  You know that’s the same name as the first person to be killed by a robot in Japan right?  No bullshit!  Nice move Dr. Takahashi, way to jinx the shit out of that one.

Now, if you’re gonna be a closet robophiliac that’s cool, I mean I can definitely think up more destructive fetishes than that… BUT you have to EITHER build a love robot OR admit it to the whole world.  You can’t have it both ways, because when you fuck up the love robot and then try to bounce back by saying “I have full faith that we will one day live side by side with, and eventually love and be loved by, robots” you don’t sound optimistic, you just sound creepy.  And who the fuck is “we” anyway?  I’m not falling in love with any robot that isn’t equipped with:

1) the ability to eat paper and shit money

2) an archive of all 285 cooking Ebooks available on

3) a RAID 0 hard disk array that’s striped but not mirrored (high performance, but if we get into a fight it’ll only take one solid blow)

4) a mute button (once again, dog and cat sounds? I want what YOU’RE smoking)

5) a bangin body like this

Sorry Doc, you may have created a robot that loves, but you didn’t create fake boobs that feel real, so what’s the point?


1 Comment

Filed under it's the little things that count

One response to “Kenji the workplace sexual harassment robot

  1. Oksana

    Cool. You’ve done your research. I guess there’s not much hope left and those desperate people will still continue posting on craigslist for someone to hug them (and no sex, please).

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