I’m doubling up today, because otherwise this thing will go on forever. Without giving a way too much, I drank a LOT that night. Though loading this many pictures at once from my work computer is a harrowing task, frankly sometimes it seems like I could get a better internet connection with string and Dixie cups. I also feel the need to give credit where credit is due, our girl is getting a little better at dressing herself. “E” should consider sitting at home all day listening to hip-hop more often. I’m sure whatever she usually does during the day is not nearly as important as whoring herself out on the internet for superficial ego validation.
So anyway, apparently three shots is the point at which I forget to unbutton my jacket when sitting down, and four is where I re-kindle my love for toy airplanes.
I recently got it in my head that I wanted the suffix “Esq.” after my name. For those of you who don’t know, the “Esq.” suffix is short for “Esquire”, and is typically used to indicate that the bearer is a lawyer. Notice that I say “typically”. So after being told that I was ridiculous and out of line by most of my friends, I did what I always do. Set out to get it anyway, so I could throw it in their faces.
My fascination with the whole esquire thing started when I saw a lawyer buy something with his credit card, and after his name were three gleaming angelic letters, followed by the boldest and most authoritative of all punctuation
I had to have that. So naturally my own personal “pimp my name” process started at the bank (what? you didn’t think it was going to star at law school did you?), well on the phone with the bank anyway. The conversation went something like this: Continue reading