Tag Archives: dog

pshttt… humans


I’m not the biggest fan of humans, I’m just going to be up front about that one.  I know, I know, I’m a human and I have human friends that I like, but i think that’s kind of on par with when you accuse someone of being racist, and they respond with “I have plenty of black friends”.  They’re still racist, and I still hate humans.  I mean, what the hell do we do?  We’re pointless!!! We’re not even a link in the food chain!  We’re just the ball at the end of it, dragging everything else down with us.  Fuck humans.  The only cool thing we have ever done is music (and pyramids).  Music is awesome, but at the same time, it really isn’t anything at all.  It’s just a concept, existing solely in the minds of other humans.  Even when music is played, it takes an other human to interpret it as more than just sound.  A dog doesn’t know the difference between music and the humm of an electric light.  So without humans, music isn’t real, it sucks too.

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Filed under it's the little things that count, music and the arts

get rich quick

I have the zillion dollar idea, ready?

I’m going to invent the dog that never shits.  Everyone will buy it.  It will be 100% energy efficient, converting all of its food into pure energy.  And it will have one of these things where its asshole would be:


Don’t take my idea, I know you want to.

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Filed under it's the little things that count