There’s a “stats” page in the admin section of this site where I can see things like how many people look at the blog, where they were referred from, which pages got the most traffic, and all kinds of other fun info. One of the things that I can see is what people have typed into search engines to find my site. These are always the funniest. I get stuff like “when do i firs shave” or “is mensa a joke”, that kind of stuff. However, I saw something particularly retarded down there yesterday:
Is someone actually trying to cheat their way in to McDonalds? This is too awesome.
I found the coolest restaurant ever. Finally in this world of hypocritical fast food bullshit there is a shining beacon of light:
The Heart Attack Grill, awesome. They just make the most delicious, most terrible for you burgers, and then talk about how terrible they are for you. Guess what, people eat it anyway. Sorry McDonald’s, everyone knows you make shit food, they eat it because they don’t care, not because they think it’s healthy. Just give it up with the salads and shit already.
Oh, and on that note the salads are even bad for you. You get 26% of your daily fat, and 35% of your sodium from the salad alone, with all of the real nutrition stripped out of the shitty re-hydrated lettuce long before you eat it. Then add the dressing, and you’ve got yourself up to a whopping 54% of your daily fat intake and 56% of your sodium. Compare that to the 40% daily fat and 50% daily sodium of a Quarter Pounder, and you have yourself a funny joke at the expense of the soccer moms.
It’s 2008, and this years McDonald’s Monopoly game is under way. But before you get your hopes up, let’s consider just how stupid this promotion really is. Well, first we need some cold hard statistics. We need to figure out just what we’re up against. How about the McDonald’s website? Yea, they must have the terms and conditions up there, but wait I can’t seem to find it on the monopoly page here:
I can find my free online offers. I can see stacks of money everywhere. I can see happy people (healthy happy people at that). Shit, I can even see a link to nutrition information (if that’s what they’re going to call it). But where the hell are the terms and conditions? Oh, wait, it may be in the fine print (shown here at ACTUAL SIZE):