Tag Archives: obama

District of Chit: parts five and six

Just getting started.  We’re five shot’s into our journey and I have decided that I’m a rock star.  Fair enough.  Meanwhile our buddy “E” is just happy that she may run into our new first lady at Target shopping for jeans.  So without further ado.

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left but equal?

Let’s face it, everyone hates lefties.  They are the most highly discriminated against group of people on the planet.  I mean, I personally can’t remember the last time someone killed 6 million southpaws, but I’m sure it happened at some point.  Anyway, what I’m talking about is the subtle everyday “fuck you” the world gives them with things like:

scissors

desks

guns

knives

computer mice

handwriting

golf clubs

guitars

drum sets

phones

virtually all machinery

The list goes on, forever.  And they just sit back and take it!  I don’t know why, maybe the leucine-rich repeat transmembrane neuronal protein 1 gene is linked to a secret love of getting pounded in the ass by society or something.  So… I would just like to take this opportunity to give a shout out to all of my sinistral friends out there.  Don’t worry guys, A CHANGE IS GONNA COME!  Obama is a lefty.

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barack obama, deliver us from evil

Unless you’ve been living under a rock for the past few weeks, you know that Barack Obama will be the next president of the United States.  Though this is undeniably a huge step towards racial diversity in the country, the question remains: is he really fit to be the president?  Well to be perfectly honest, I wasn’t sure myself until i came across this photo (or maybe I made it in photoshop… maybe).  At any rate, I’m not sure why it hasn’t gotten any press, but I know that I, for one, can now rest assured knowing that our country is in good hands.

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a publishing deal with the devil

So I was just doing some research for today’s post on Obama.  You know bumming around the internet, like I do, and look what pops up:

Look a little closer at the adwords shit on the side:

Does Amazon just have some deal with Google where they pop up for ANYTHING THAT ANYONE SEARCHES?  I mean “low prices on antichrist bible”? Really?  I didn’t know that the internet was programmed to automatically mock me.  What an asshole.  But then again, maybe I actually could get a low price on antichrist bible.  Hmmmmm… sorry Obama, you’re just gonna have to wait, I need to see how deep this rabbit hole goes. Continue reading

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smegma

Yep, that’s the word of the day today.  Check out the Wikipedia article, there’s lots of fun stuff like this picture:

If you go to the entry on Merriam-Webster, you can learn all kinds of fun new words like “sebaceous(as in “cheesy sebaceous matter”).  You can even have the goofy robot voice say it for you, and very politely I might add.

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maybe you shouldn’t vote

That’s right, I said it.  It seems that everywhere I turn some new organization is on it’s knees ready to suck my dick if I register to vote, paying no mind to my level of political aptitude.  Every time it leaves me thinking:

JUST BECAUSE YOU CAN, DOESN’T MEAN YOU SHOULD.

I want to make it clear here that I do not claim to be a political analyst of any kind.  Yes, I have a functional knowledge of politics and what’s going on in the world, and I am registered to vote, but I am the first to admit that I am not a political genius by any stretch of the imagination.  That being said, look at the people around you and ask yourself it they’re really qualified to choose the next president.  Before everyone gets on my case about this, please note:

I AM NOT IN FAVOR OF REVOKING PEOPLES RIGHT TO VOTE.

I just wish that some people didn’t.  Take a look at this:

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