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penisjuice

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the errordactyl coolness aptitude test

Welcome to the errordactyl coolness aptitude test, or the ECAT for short.  The purpose of the ECAT is to determine just how valid you are to society.  I tested it out yesterday for the first time on my two friends Patrick and Anthony.  Below is the test, followed by the answers, and the transcripts of my conversations with them.

TO TAKE THE TEST, SIMPLY CHOOSE WHICH THING IS COOLER:

1 ) freakishly tall people vs. freakishly short people

2 ) motorcycles vs. siamese twins attached at the penis

3 ) those extreme fish that live in super hot water vs. the NASA plane with backwards wings that can fly out of our atmosphere

4 ) Ronald McDonald vs. the alien-Sigourney Weaver hybrid from the “Alien” movies

5 ) the sun vs. boobs

6 ) persians vs. the tooth fairy

7 ) alcohol vs. the color brown

8 ) non-anime cartoons vs. cold stuff between -40 and 0 degrees Celsius

9 ) Mayans vs. the printing press

10 ) hagfish vs. butterflies

11 ) hitler vs. cigarettes

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smegma

Yep, that’s the word of the day today.  Check out the Wikipedia article, there’s lots of fun stuff like this picture:

If you go to the entry on Merriam-Webster, you can learn all kinds of fun new words like “sebaceous(as in “cheesy sebaceous matter”).  You can even have the goofy robot voice say it for you, and very politely I might add.

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ain’t nobody got a swagger like, umm, what’s swagger?

I was at a restaurant last night, at a business dinner, when one of my colleagues commented that the woman across from me had “swagger”.  That’s one hell of an illusive term right there.  We discussed the matter at the table for a bit.  Now, women do not usually receive this label of endearment, but it fit in this situation, so swagger must not be gender specific.  It doesn’t seem to have a lot to do with age either.  So maybe looking at people who have swagger can help us derive a definition.  Pierce Brosnan came up, but he’s not quite there.  Robert Downey Jr. had it as Tony Stark in Iron Man:

Hold on a second.  That may just be the women, you know, skewing my perception.  Let’s try that again: Continue reading

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